I went to the Stephen Colbert lecture at SUNY Buffalo on Friday night.  Man, it was a good time.  It was an arena-size event.  It was a total laugh fest, rather than a formal lecture.  I think he probably does these lecture things a lot, but he did not seem bored at all.  His humor was sharp, fast, and flying, and it seemed like he was having a ton of fun messing with the audience.

There was definitely a lot of excitement and anticipation in the audience.  The Vice President of Student Affairs started things off with The Word (a segment from The Colbert Report) and briefly talked about political satire.  Then Colbert came out with music blaring and did a little dance.  He thanked the ladies, gentlemen, and hermaphrodites, because these days you have to be "diverse" and recognize all the various countless groups out there.  He then proceeded to make fun of Eliot Spitzer.  Colbert noted that Spitzer was on The Colbert Report the day Spitzer got a ride to DC to get it on with a prostitute.  Before the taping of the show, Spitzer's people told Colbert that Spitzer had to be done at a certain time to catch a ride to DC.  Spitzer even made a call from Colbert's studio about his ride.  Colbert and his staff only realized what was really going on after the scandal broke - apparently Colbert's whoredar didn't pick up on it at the time.  Colbert said the show-biz saying for a guest pressed for time is, "The governor has a hard out", and this time it was literally true!

He then ragged on young people.  He said that young people are so soft and coddled these days, with their internet blogging "activism" and bike safety helmets.  Back in the day, nobody wore bike safety helmets, and it toughened everybody's skulls.  Also, these days when young people are at a demonstration and someone gets tasered, they don't rebel!  Instead, they obey the authorities and can't wait to get home to watch the guy get tasered on YouTube!  Colbert claimed that he was hiring interns - for the guys, positions would go to those who could scream his name the loudest.  For the ladies, positions would go to those who could scream his name the loudest with the most desire.  When the females in the audience yelled, it ended up sounding like something getting killed, and everyone cracked up.  Colbert also had fun with the Canadians in the audience and talked about moosehead beer.  He said something like, "It tastes exactly as it sounds, moosehead, like when you're giving a moose head."

Colbert went into his take on current politics and the Presidential candidates.  It was especially funny because it was combined with a slideshow to back up his statements.  He had a picture of Dick Cheney looking surly as usual.  Then he had a picture of the villainous Mole Man from Marvel Comics, and the resemblance was...striking.  Several of the Republican candidates who looked older, dressed all proper, and all smiles reminded Colbert of creepy uncles who like to hug you just a little too much.  He talked about the debate over the exact event at which the Republicans sealed their own fate to lose Congress in 2006 - well, the list of screw-ups is long!  He made fun of Mitt Romney, about how he's so handsome and attractive, and would take just about any position to appeal to anyone, enough that Colbert himself would be willing to get things on with Romney.  Colbert felt that Ron Paul (the most popular Republican among the audience) was given short thrift by everyone.  He also said that Ron Paul supporters are those who go to YouTube and blog sites to post replies that run for about a page.

To Colbert, Dennis Kucinich always reminded him of some little magical forest creature hanging out with Hobbits.  As for Clinton vs. Obama, Obama definitely had the most support in the SUNY Buffalo audience.  Colbert said that Clinton was tenacious, and if Obama got the nomination, Clinton would probably burst out of Obama's chest at the nomination speech like in Aliens.  The powerpoint slide that went with the joke was hilarious, cartoonish, and bloody, ha ha.  Colbert, being from the Carolinas, also did a spot-on impersonation of John Edwards.  Then Colbert ended his talk with The Word, where he went on a nonsensical, word-twisting, your-leaders-are-always-good rant.

After the formal talk, Colbert took questions from the audience.  He also kidded around with the sign-language interpreter on stage and sat on her.  When asked about what flavor ice cream would be named after Jon Stewart, Colbert mused that it would contain gummi bears and matzos, and would be called Chewy Jewy.  Colbert also took a pump and shot out some t-shirts into the audience.  He ragged on the SUNY Buffalo football team, "Come on, you guys are named after the most shootable animal in America!"  He talked a bit about his Presidential bid, about how he was genuinely disappointed by being left off the ballot.  He was also asked if he would run for New York Senator if Clinton vacates.  Colbert said he couldn't because he lives in New Jersey.  But then he was told that apparently all you have do to qualify to run is to have a mailing address in New York.  To which Colbert joked, "That's it?  You're shitting me!  That idea is SO stolen!"